Let Your Yes Be Yes, And Your No Be No.

As you are learning the inward language of the heart of compassion, learning to let your yes be yes and your no be no is one of the most loving gifts you bring to the table of authentic relationship.
This video pointing empowers your “yes” only when the truth and inner-aligned integrity can allow for a real, pure, and resolute yes. When you say “yes,” you do so knowing that you are contributing to the enrichment of another’s life, without conditions.

When you say “no” in a way that still maintains the flow of connection, you build trust and set liberating parameters by mirroring a whole new way of connecting to yourself, and within your relationship. This one act of compassion frees up any conditioned patterns of relating based on our conditioned beliefs of “have to,” or “should.” Learning to honor one another in both our “yes” and our “no” builds deep trust and the deep intimacy of authentic connection.

Maintaining self-love and connection to your own heart is core to authentic relationship, for all love is generated from within.

You may find an “ouch” when you have a need and you hear a “no.” But within the self-inquiry of trigger awaits the liberation from staying stuck in the relational patterns that feed separation. When someone says no to you, celebrate that they are saying yes to themselves. Hearing a no, or giving a no, could also be a powerful opportunity to share what’s preventing you from saying yes, especially if some unmet need is in the undercurrent of no.

In the gift of hearing “no,” if we feel there might be some unmet need or separation story alive, we can check-in. If there is something preventing someone’s “yes,” we can request to set up a time when the heart space is open for the exploration. When we hear a “yes,” we can celebrate that their yes is being fueled from their desire to contribute fully, authentically present, to the dance of authentic relationship, free from the conditioning of complying outwardly, yet inwardly withdrawing their presence because they are living in the conditioning of “have to,” or believing they “should” do or be something.

We’ve all felt the history of punishment, withdrawal of love, and control in relationship if we said no. This then imbeds a core fear belief that saying “no” is not safe, or by doing so, someone or something we value could be taken from us. Holding compassion by offering your “no” by stating what needs you have that prevent you from saying “yes” at this moment, is a powerful way to maintain connection while still honoring your own needs for self-honor, self-care, and self-love, which is always a “yes” to you.

I cannot overemphasize the mastery and blessing of showing up fully in the presence of your relationships, within yourself, within your yes, and within your no. This freedom co-creates trust and deeply connected relationships, within the blessing that all relationships offer one another the reflection of celebrating our mutual needs for self-love, self-honor, and autonomy within our interdependence.

When you choose love, you choose to be fully authentic with your own heart. As you create “the gap” between your autonomic programming to be nice by saying “yes,” when you really mean no, within this self-inquiry you will witness how often we say yes, but then don’t really mean yes, then silently withdraw our full presence from the relationship, and ultimately dishonor and betray our own heart. Love only operates in the freedom to choose.

Honoring one another’s “phuck yes,” and even perhaps “phuck no,” opens up a world of love that is untethered from condition…. And within this freedom, how can life be more wonderful that a liberated heart?!!!